Chinese, among other things...

I survived the Chinese AO Level paper. Thank God. Let us now pray and hope that I never ever have to sit for it again. I think I can pass.

ANYWAY, now that that horror is over, we can think of happier things! OK, I went for the Model United Nations interview today. It went smoothly, except for one moment when I couldn't remember the word I wanted to say. But I'm guessing that I should be able to get in. I mean, researchers are all fine and good, but you need a debater to push your resolutions through, haha. I'll keep my fingers crossed though. You never know what might happen.

After that we went shopping at Wisma. Or rather we hung around vicks while she tried to make up her mind whether or not to buy a semi-transparent, flimsy little piece of cloth known as a shawl. She apparently did not buy it in the end. Waste of money, which I agree with. Good call, vicks. haha

So, we walked around Taka for a while and entered kniokuniya and then left. There was this interesting incident at kino with this oblivious little boy hogging the only open copy of the Calvin and Hobbes collection at the comics section. It was funny to see Bryan looming behind him like some impending shadow of doom (he was about two heads taller than the boy), while the oblivious one continued reading, one hand on hip, weight resting on one leg. He looked like the type who'd start crying bloody murder the minute you even raised a hand.

Tomorrow is Hari Raya Puasa, and I didn't even know. I thought it was next week. oops.

I think my posts are becoming more and more frivolous. Oh no.

Liz: yes they're good, but I thought, along with everybody else on the team, that RJ's case was stronger. A debate doesn't hang on the quality of the debaters alone.

Vicks: yeah, what's his url anyway??

The Red Cross Debates: Part 2

Yesterday was the concluding segment of the Red Cross Debate Series on International Humanitarian Law (IHL). I was feeling really drowsy before the debate started. The medicine is fairly strong. In any case, we got to exact vengeance on UWC by a whisker. Quite a satisfying debate. But the UWC people are really nice, and we plan to invite them down for spars next year. All in all, we won three out of the five preliminary rounds.

The finals was between AC and RJ, and I must say the results were a shocker. I expected RJ to win.

Oh well, now that that's over, we can look to the near future. Tomorrow is the AO level Chinese paper, for which I'm terribly ill-prepared and loath to sit for. I think I'll run off to do some futile last minute revision later. Then after that in the same day will be the MUN interview, for which I am also unprepared. I don't know whether to pick topic 1 or 3 to speak on. Topic 1 is: Has the United Nations failed? Topic 3: Would you advocate the universal ratification of the International Criminal Court?

I think that all these recent events and situations have taken up so much of my time that I can't sit down and finish the books I've been reading. Once again I need to re-orientate myself and focus on the things that matter most. I hope that happens soon...

I'm sick. Definitely. Nowadays doctors have such high-tech ways of getting your temperature. He just picked up this scanner and scanned my forehead. Then there was a beep and my temperature appeared on that contraption, which was labelled "ThermoScan". The wonders of science. From mouth thermometers to armpit thermometers to ear thermometers to forehead scanners. What next?

I got slightly zonked out today. It happens when I'm falling sick. My nose becomes a tap, my throat is sore, my lungs spew forth phlegm, and my ears block up. How am I supposed to debate tomorrow? It's the final preliminaries of the Red Cross Debates tomorrow. I hope we don't get some high ranked school, although that would be fun. Maybe we should use an unconventional team lineup tomorrow.

I need sleep... The medicine is making me drowsy....

Quek: Yes, we should skin and de-rib the pigs soon.

Naseem: hai... you're really tiring you know... I think I should just give you the cake to shut you up once and for all, haha... I'll be doing Much Ado About Nothing for Lit. What about you?

Vickland: Yup, linked you! And about this whole council thing, aiya, it's getting really tiring. If she wants to bitch, let her. If I were her I'd be saying I was being bitchy on my blog too anyway... But of course, it depends on perspective. You can call my comments constructive criticism if you want. Her? I dunno...

Musa: The past? Oh come on, nas is clearly stuck in the past. I'm trying to move on...

The password to my blog is becoming highly sought after. I should probably start charging people for membership, haha. Anyway, just to let all of you know, Benita did up the password thingy, so now she has her due credit. I'm computer illiterate.

We had the most hilarious GP review lecture today. You cannot begin to imagine all the mistakes students make in their essays. One Creationist historian wrote, "God created Eve from the dust of Adam" (emphasis my own). Another rewrote history and gender politics by saying, "Throughout history there have been very few female kings." Yet another changed our PM's name to "Mr. Lee Sia Leong". But best of all, was this insightful writer who noted that "men are only interested in looking at the two big beasts on women's chests." Othello anyone?

Prior to the lecture we whiled away our time by playing Monopoly! It's really interesting to play that game with the class. Lester was acting like some diva, flaunting his piles of "loose change". Lesson learnt: NEVER sell Mayfair, even if you don't own Park Lane, or vice versa. You're just creating your own financial doom in the future.

Finally, tomorrow will be the last day of school. But our misery is not over yet. The Chinese paper is on Monday, which I am loath to sit for. And then there's still OP. Will it never end? Oh well, I guess I better start planning my holiday schedule...

OP Dry Run

I'm losing my voice. It started yesterday, and then I woke up this morning with a sore throat and a cough. And now my voice is getting all squeaky when I try and speak in a presenter's tone. Anyway, I had a nice long nap in the afternoon, almost immediately after coming home. But I still feel lethargic...

We had our first OP dry run today. Being the last group can get tiringly boring. But in any case our part went fairly well except for a few technical glitches with the projector. Why does the class always find me funny when I present? They laughed the minute I opened my mouth... Maybe they're not used to people talking as they walk up to their positions. .....

My new maid arrived yesterday evening. So now I have two maids in the house till the outgoing one leaves this Friday. I was about to say "until the old maid leaves", but that sounds really bad, and funny. My brother was joking about how if he calls out, "aunty!", two of them will show up. Well, let's just hope the new one works out fine. She seemed to have difficulties with the schedule my mother gave her this afternoon.

Jeremy: Of all the things to say you must say ex-gf. NO, I DO NOT HAVE AN EX-GF, to all you nosey parkers out there. Now all the conspiracy theorists aka liz are going to have a field day. Anyway, we should go out soon. I seriously want another book from Borders.

Liz: You heard what I said. No ex.

Benita: You're pretty sweet yourself, hahaha.... Or should I say bitter sweet? Ok, I think I shall purposely make Naseem jealous now. When are we having your Miss Clarity blueberry cheese cake? Or the next Mud Cake outing? hahaha

Naseem: umm, I don't think you should link me still, cos then more people will know that I have a blog, and they'll be pressuring the ones who know for the password.

Vickland: Derek said it was the SAS councillors, and Alfred I think. But all the SAS councillors don't seem to have a problem with me, unless he's talking about people like Amar? Oh well, I guess I should take his words with a pinch of salt yeah? haha

I had a long talk today with a friend whom I thought I'd lost. It was awkward, awkward, right from the beginning, and I know it's going to be awkward for a while. Maybe I've already lost this friendship forever, the friendship we had, because how do you go back to one which you've been away from for so long? Is it possible to regain that level of intimacy?

Of course, we will act once more like normal friends, which would be a nice departure from that period of animosity. A cold war, did I not once call it? Now, we can once again begin the thawing process. Thank you for opening up at last, at the very least. You, or rather your action, are an answer to prayer.

My mind wanders back again to that painful period in the past. I don't know how I got through, but I had the support of friends around me whom I know God put in place at just the right time. I remember the long talks spent sipping coffee and eating kaya toast with a new friend. I remember that listening ear, that blog post made by an old friend. Thank you, Benita. Thank you, Jeremy (this isn't the Jeremy in 05A11 for the uninformed). The two of you were, and are, answers to prayer too.

Let's hope it works out this time.

An Unseen Host

I have many things to blog about today, but I fear for my blog's privacy. Unforeseen circumstances have forced my hand to do something I never wanted to do. This will be my last post before I place a password on my blog. All my regular readers will be getting the password soon.

I did not know that my blog had such a large unseen audience. No, not the people who tag regularly, but rather several people whom I would rather not see reading this blog. I am referring to those select few of councillors who happened to chance upon my blog. Apparently my views on the council are spreading among them, causing them to be rather irate. Of course, there are certain councillors, like vickland, who read my blog and I'm fine with that. It's just the people whom I do not know and yet bother that I'm concerned with. Let me here say that all my thoughts and comments on the council's efficiency, which is apparently becoming a catchphrase, are IN MY OWN OPINION. It is IN MY OPINION that I blog about the council and other mundane, irritating things concerned with the college. It is IN MY OPINION that I believe councillors have no right to be sarcastic to their electorate. I did not know that sarcasm came under the purview of the council. Truly I was mistaken, as I found out today.

Let me also say here that if ever I have offended any councillor personally on my blog, I apologise. My comments and critiques are aimed squarely at the council's BUREAUCRACY, and councillors just unfortunately happen to serve such a bureaucracy. I know many people in council, some of which I've known for more than six years. They are really nice people, these whom I speak of. Of the rest, I cannot say, although certainly there must exist among them rather irritating people with puerile senses of humour, as I learnt today.

So there, my take on the whole situation. I will only speak of more personal matters later.

Lines of communication

I have waited for this moment for so long. Now that it has come, I don't know whether I want to face it. Why now? Why so suddenly a talk? Dare I risk all that hurt coming back again? Have I grown numb enough to your shenanigans not to bother? I think not. Yet what can I do? The door has been opened, at long last, so I guess I should at least step through it. And then, I pray to God He will see me safely through. Interestingly I've prayed for so long for this door to be opened. But yet, I don't think I ever believed firmly that it would happen. But He works in mysterious ways, and thus am I proven wrong.

Meanwhile life goes on and PW must be finished. I'm getting pimples on my butt from sitting too long on the cafe benches, waiting for the rest to finish using the laptop... Let's get the OP over and done with quickly. I feel like presenting.

Let me see, let me see, anything else to blog about? hmm... I dunno. Nothing much I guess. School is such a drag. There are no lesons tomorrow and still I have to come for the damned security seminar. Argh. Why did I say yes...

The Red Cross Debates

I went for the Red Cross Debate Series yesterday. I was nervous, yes, and apprehensive about debating again after so long. Fortunately the first round warmed me up significantly. Suffice to say that our first opponent should have felt rather violated by the end of the debate.

All in all it was a good show for a team that rusty. We won two out of four rounds, and had close margins for the two we lost. Unity World College is good, and I didn't mind losing to them. They are at the very least nice people, and they did debate well, while we fluffed a lot.... Raffles... ah Raffles. What can one say about an institution steeped in proud history? As usual, a splendid performance put up by a first class team. Their speakers deserve to be on the National Team. Nevertheless, we gave them a good fight, and did not, unlike them, degenerate into petty insults.

I forgot how tiring debating is. When you're stuck in a room with four other speakers for four debates in a row, it can get very emotionally and mentally tiring. Everyone gets charged up, tensions run high, voices rise. At the end, you are tired and hungry. I was definitely ready to go home after Round 4. But still, it was good to get back into the circle.

I met the PW group today after church to do our OP. I'm really beginning to love my PW group. I think we have the most fun while doing pw. We can sit there and talk about so many things while still managing to get things done. Progress may be slow, yes, but I think the process of work is more important in some ways than the end result. I think it's true that you find out parts of a person's character only in times of crisis.

Oh well, off to do my powerpoint slides.

Funny day today. Full of interesting events. I now know what it feels like to tag around a woman/girl doling out money for her every expense. It is painful on the wallet. Heaven help the working man.

It's funny, when you look back on past friendships and review them. The things that hurt so much seem so distant now. You wonder how you ever got through them. And then, you look around you and see history being repeated, or sort of. Such irony, sych hypocrisy, such...confusion. Am I truly revisionist? Or is my view of the past getting too coloured? I can no longer see it as fresh as I once did, slowly replaying every searing moment in my mind. I guess the moments are getting dull.

Tomorrow is the Red Cross Debates. I'm not feeling confident. Let's hope I've still got some spark left. Two wins would be nice. Three better. Four, excellent.

Today I realised in some small measure how much people expect of Christians. A simple promise to a friend becomes sealed when you realise they are looking at you. I guess this is the weight of glory, as CS Lewis calls it.

Man, Christian Man, has the privilege to sing a song the angels can't. We sing the song of the redeemed. I know that my Redeemer liveth.

It's amazing how much a simple phone call from a loved one can mean when you're out late and tired. That's what I felt last night. Sometimes all a person needs to know is that there's someone out there who cares for you. I think there's a quote somewhere in Doyle that says how sad or accursed is the man who, when he dies, has not a single soul to mourn him. When I think about it, that quote seems quite true. I think if even Osama bin Laden dies, plenty of his followers will mourn for him. What more us?

I was thinking about meritocracy the other day. Of course, everyone knows it's not fair, depending on how you look at it. It's fair that the best get the best grades, the best jobs, etc. Theoretically speaking of course. It's not fair, however, that you can put in twice as much effort as X and still get lower grades. But then again, life isn't fair. We just have to live with it. (Btw, in case anyone is mistaken, I'm not sour over my grades. these were just some thoughts I had randomly)

School is getting very boring. Everyday we go there just for PW. Everything seems to revolve around PW now. PW this, PW that. It's really tiring and frustrating and time-consuming. I just thank God so much for giving me such a wonderful PW group. As if the subject itself wasn't bad enough. At least it's good to be working with fun people.

And then there's the chinese ao exams coming up. I begin to doubt scrapping through. I really hope I don't have to retake chinese next year. It would be SUCH a waste of time. But, ah well, what can I do? It's too late to suddenly pick a hundred and one chinese novels and read them. I wonder, if I read chinese books as much as I read english books from young, what would the outcome be like? I can't imagine myself being effectively billingual. That's a funny thought.

I just wish I could sleep my time away and not care about a thing in the world... Today was a really good day for sleeping. I slept through the afternoon. Such peace...

A long day. Once again, I've been kicked out of the main chinese class into a specialised class. They found a replacement for my teacher, who is currently on long term medical leave. He's this really funny doctor in chinese who looks like some ah pek but is really rather humourous. I mean, a simple discussion on a word can spin off into some trip down the lives of top Asian celebrities, including Rain, the rising Korean star, who is in his opinion, indecent. Then he talked somewhat about the promiscuity of students from a certain junior college in the novena-ang mo kio area. Really funny guy. I think chinese lessons will be more interesting from now onwards.

I also got back the full scores for the year's worth of work, CA + CT + Promos. Well, I must say I did fairly well in comparison to the rest; to God be the glory, great things He hath done... I got to retain my B in Literature! I was quite sure it would have dropped to a C once everything else was taken into account. I was also surprised to find my A1 in GP kept. I thought CA and CT would push it down a grade. The rest of my subjects were fairly average. A C for Econs and a D for History. All in all, a good run for 2005, certainly a year full of surprises. I simply must thank God for seeing me through the second half of the year. It has been... tumultous, to say the least.

Then. we spent the whole afternoon doing PW. Argh. I think I got hyper during the afternoon, I don't know why. I just felt quite hyped up to do oral presentation... I wish I could point out the different JCs on the google earth maps for the presentation. At least, it was satisfying to see everything more or less coming together. I never could have foreseen this at the start of the year.

More boring days ahead... I was just wondering, does meritocracy mean fairness? My answer: Yes and No. I'll talk about this some other time.

My tagboard, as liz put it, is being spammed, and over what? Over ONE comment I made in my last post. The very last comment in fact. For the record, I was in Topman. I put down Topshop cos I thought that was the generic company name for the whole lable, and it is anyway. Topman is under Topshop isn't it? What's the fuss? I didn't buy women's clothing. I didn't buy any clothing from there in the end anyway... I just saw Hanis, who, incidentally, also did not buy anything in the end...

In other more interesting news.... Vicks was telling me today about this person from some secondary school who flamed her alma mater's debate team on his/her blog just because that school lost. The flaming was patently ugly. He/She insulted their looks, the way they walked, the way they talked, their spelling, etc... A complete display of crass, sheer nonsense, and an immature, adolescent spurt of vitriol. What a shame on his/her school. There is absolutely no sense in criticising debaters based on things judges don't take into account, like their looks. If they debate well, they win! How much does this person know of actual debating anyway? Obviously he/she can't debate for nuts.

Anyway, we had a really interesting time after school today talking. It's funny to see how different men and women can be in terms of thought processes. Ah well, the vicissitudes of relationships...

Tomorrow will be a boring day with a long break in the middle. Seriously, the school needs to plan timetables better. Our time is being wasted in school doing nothing.

Open House and shopping

Today was the Open House. The first thing I saw when entering the hall was the debate booth bereft of its notice boards. We were given two pathetic tables when we were supposed to have four. Typical council efficiency. We ended up with the board they keep in the student centre for council.

A slow day. Nobody wants to come here now that we're moving. At least we kept ourselves busy watching the debate videos. I'm frankly hilarious. And this isn't my own personal opinion. Everyone else thinks so too.

Of all the stupid things in the world to get angry with my parents, I get angry over clothes. I hate shopping with my father. Everything looks shabby. It's meant to look that way for goodness sake! I can't shop in peace! I'd much rather shop with my mother. She at least has a much better fashion sense. She'd better have: she's a clothes merchandiser. It's just that there's no time nowdays to go shopping with my mom or on my own. All the time I have ends up with the family, which inevitably includes my father. Argh. I can't stand it when they're all so conservative.

Well, they're good in lots of ways. I think my father is one of the few parents who actually encouraged their child to enter arts, despite me doing triple science in sec school. They've never forced me to do things I don't like. I just wish they would loosen up a little.

Oh, I met Hanis in TopShop. What a funny place to meet him. Ok, thinking of that place makes me pissed again...

I need to change my phone plan. Another point of contention. Argh.

Results, results, results

What an exciting day. It's always exciting to get back results. Nerve-wrackingly exciting. First, there was the ominous lead-up to the results in the morning, beginning with Mr Yoong's prayer. "Lord, strengthen the JC1s as they take back their papers..." Then there was chapel, with the teacher saying how 44.5 can become 45 marks, etc. "God will make a way." haha, I agree, but um...wrong context... Then finally Canon Benson, who chose to speak on perserverance. "The results are not the end of the road... We must perservere onwards..."

With so many consoling words to steel the J1s, I think we got the hint that the impending storm was going to be bad.

And just when we thought it would break, the police came to give a talk. ........ Who gives a talk about common offences to JC students?? It was about all the usual boring stuff. Shoplifting, rioting, outrage of modesty... Don't do these things. They get you jailed and caned. yadayadayada. They should give me an award for promoting their message here...

And so the storm broke. And how. It was a rollercoaster ride of emotions for me, going down, then levelling off, then up again. At the end, I think I'm pleased with what I got overall. Some could have been done better, but I guess I should give God the glory for seeing me through and granting me good results. (Good as in in relation to the cohort. I'm not getting into any university with these grades)

I have a feeling next year's J2 Arts cohort will be significantly smaller... It's really sad, cos I don't want to see some people go. I hope they all promote.

I realised something. It's becoming all too common to see people around me saying how they study hard but never seem to get the questions right. When this happens once or twice it's fine, but when a person faces this sort of setback time and time again, it gets really demoralising. Is our education system designed to demoralise people? I wonder that perhaps it isn't fine tuned enough to sift out students into the courses most suited for them. Some are just lazy, and won't work hard. But what about those who study hard and yet do badly? Sometimes it just won't click, and you pray and pray it will. As I type I'm reminded of my time struggling with A Maths. Now that was a mixture of laziness to practise and confusion. I think deep inside I was never cut out for math. To all those struggling out there, don't give up. I'm sure one day it will all click. If it doesn't, well, you probably weren't suited for the course anyway... But one must make do with what one has I guess.

Open House tomorrow!! We decided to do up the booth tomorrow morning. No one's going to wait till 4 today to enter the silly hall. Typical council efficiency really...


vicks: Farmer Soldier is an oxymoron... And I don't think I'll be very happy going into ns with sounds of laughter at my back...

liz: you're right, I probably won't survive halfway through ns. That is, if I make it halfway through in the first place... Which is another reason why I'm not looking forward to farewell assembly...

kelly: yeah, sad isn't it? your class is like that too?

Today was a most useless day spent in school. House Day? Come on... We spent most of our time cooped up in the auditorium watching "Coach Carter", which I must admit is a pretty good show. That is, until the teacher started to try and emulate his inspirational speeches at the end... "Tomorrow you will face the truth." And so we shall. The results will all be given out in one great bonanza tomorrow. Today we watched as the J2s cried their hearts out. Tomorrow we too shall cry, for different reasons though.

I'm not looking forward to Farewell Assembly next year. I looked around and saw hundreds of people busy taking shots of each other. Classes were hugging each other, huddled together for that final photograph. Next year? We'll be seeing all the cliques taking shots of themselves. As a class? Puh-leeze... We can't even get the class to take a photo together THIS year. Of course, one year changes many things. I'll just wait and see for next year.

If music be the food of love, play on. Unfortunately not all music is lovely, and nowhere else is this thrown into sharp relief than today's music awards. Some were good, some were not-so-good, to be diplomatic. Don't you find it very irritating when wannabe singers try and slang during their songs? so much so that "deal" sounds like "zeal"? and yeah, I think up-and-coming music stars should try to adopt classier, nicer sounding names that don't bring to mind Jean Yip or something along those lines.

I never knew my fellow debaters were so talented until today. Talented at singing unintelligible lyrics, which sound like a death chant, seriously. Talented at prancing about on stage entertaining everybody (one does not scream when the curtain blocks you. one moves in front gracefully. one does not trip over wires either). Talented at sounding typically bureaucratic even while emceeing. haha... I think we should all just stick to what we do best: debating.

Never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
John Donne

When in doubt, pray. When in turmoil, pray. When in happiness, pray. Pray, pray without ceasing, in all manner of things never stopping to give thanks and supplication to God.

Not a sparrow falls to the ground apart from your Father.

With the ending of the exams I have spent the last few days in relative peace. Thinking, reading, shopping, going out... I may be getting bored... But this beats studying for the promos anytime.

A funny thing happened yesterday in church. At the end of the service I was on my phone and Tedric just came up to me with a look that said he wanted to speak to me, thereupon he produced a book from his bag and handed it to me saying, "Happy birthday, Joel!"

Now, for those who do not know, my birthday is on the Fourth of March.

It turned out that he apparently saw my birthday listed somewhere as being on 8 or 9 October... Since more than six months have passed since my birthday, I'll take the gift as an extremely advanced birthday present instead of an extremely belated one, haha. Oh goody, something else to read and keep me occupied.

In other news, I went to Lari's surprise birthday party yesterday. She screamed before we could shout boo... That is one excitable little girl. Yes, little.

I realised that Lari has rather funny friends, funny as in humourous, not wierd, although I think you could include that too in the description. And when I think about it, I happen to fall under the funny/wierd category too....

Oh no. Typing this made me remember about Musa's present. Ok, now I've got to find Jill.... Musa has expensive tastes. haha...

I'm going to keep reading and searching... I'm beginning to realise that faith must involve doubt, otherwise it would not be called faith.

It is over

Finished, accomplished, done, complete! My Muse labours, and thus it is delivered: the Promotional Exams, long dreaded, long prepared for, long endured, are unquestionably ended! And how! There is no better way to go out than by hearing John Smith talking happily over the microphone at the end of the exam. He is an anomaly among teachers. Usually they should be unhappy at the end of the paper because the scripts they now have to mark, which is an admittedly tedious and agonising task. But for him he seemed especially jubilant at the end. "A31, remember to see your civics tutor, A11 you have to meet your civics tutor, and all the Lit reps, please see me!" He's really like a jolly old Santa. I think when he retires from teaching he should go take up a part time job as Santa during Christmas season.

There is no way I could have gotten through these three days without the help of God. This has been such a tumultous week, emotionally, mentally and spiritually speaking. To me right now, some of the most powerful words in the Bible are, "Lord I believe, help my unbelief!" Genuine faith, honest doubt.

Those who believe in God but without passion in their heart, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, and even at times without despair, believe only in the idea of God, and not in God himself.
Madeleine L'Engle

In other news, the ending of the promos means the onslaught of the PW season, oh such accursed words. But it also means that the Red Cross Debates are coming! Time to start preparing! I can feel the fire within... hahaha...

Oh yeah, Open House is next week too. What a chore.... In the meantime, before all the results start pouring in, we must celebrate. And we must celebrate with the joy of people who have not tasted fresh, clear water in ages. It dawned on me that the exams are finally over only when I asked beni, "You've really got nothing better to do right?" and I realised that, in actual fact, she really has nothing better to do, and so do I! My goodness, to actually say those words is a... a wonder...

To Life.

Faith: The substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

After two days of not being able to access the "create new post" page AGAIN, I manage to enter, by the sheer grace of God. Prayer for technology actually works!

Day One of the promos is over, and like Kelly I didn't consider GP and Chinese to be the actual start of the promos. So, from History we turn our attention now to the workings of the economy and all its vicissittudes (I like this word. I got it while doing the SEA History readings, can u imagine that??).

I'm looking forward to Thursday, and not solely for the reasons the rest of my cohort is.




My heart is heavy and sorrowful to the point of tears, but no tears will flow. I need the strength to go on.

Lord I believe, help my unbelief.

My blog lives! or at least, for now... I think this thing goes off and on intermittently. But before anything else happens, I'll post.

I have been having such conflicting thoughts these past two days. Sometimes I feel like Mary Tyrone... I think the words, "Judge not, lest you be judged" have taken on a new meaning for me, although I always knew this was happening. And yet, I have to help him, but I don't know how, and in any case, I cannot approach him without feeling so much like a hypocrite myself.

And just this morning, I had a dream that was touching and in some way an echo of my inner thoughts. That's what dreams are aren't they? I woke up crying. Maybe this will be a good turning point for me. It's fading away already.

In other news, the entire section below are my thoughts on the recent Bridging Minds debates, which I intended to post on Thursday, but then realised I couldn't access the "new post" page. Keep in mind that whenever I say "yesterday" or "last night" I'm actually referring to Wednesday night.

***
The motion before the house today is This House Would Sit for Exams. We now invite the second speaker of the proposition to give his views.

"A very good evening, members of this house. Before I move into my case proper, I have three main points of contention with the opposition. The first is his point on the equality of benefits that coursework gives in relation to exams. My second point of contention deals with the opposition's outdated view of the examination system. Finally my third point is on the opposition's much harped on 'paradigm shift'.

Onto my first point of contention, that on the equality of benefits. Ladies and gentlemen, the first speaker of the opposition has just conceded his team's case to us by stating that coursework provides the same benefits as exams. Today's motion is The House would sit for Exams. Therefore, in order to win today's debate, the opposition must show us why exams are so bad, and why coursework is better than exams. If coursework then, as stated by the opposition, provides the same benefits as exams, then why is there a necessity to sit for coursework over exams? Clearly we should sit for exams, as the motion proposes.

In fact, we submit to you today that exams provide the same benefits and more, as compared to coursework. This is my second point of contention. The backbone of the opposition's case rests on the twin assumptions that coursework teaches students the critical skills of analysis, evaluation and application of content, and that the examination system teaches students nothing more than mere regurgitation of content. And since the Knowledge-Based Economy demands analysis, evaluation and application, we should all take coursework.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, allow me to break the opposition's case down point by point. Firstly, the opposition's views on the exam system are clearly still stuck in the Victorian era (sorry, debaters' insider joke here). Exams nowadays do not just test students on their ability to regurgitate facts. In tandem with the move towards a Knowledge-Based Economy, the Cambridge examination system has been revising exam requirements to include analysis, evaluation and application.

Let us take one paper from the whole spectrum of the Cambridge A Level exams as an example. A standard Economics essay question is worth 25 marks. And out of these 25 marks, around half, about 12 to 13 marks, are allocated to the student if he is able to write out the content needed to answer the question. That is to say, a student can only pass if he regurgitates content. To get a B or A grade, the student must provide analysis and evaluation of the content he has just written out. So it is therefore ridiculous to say that the examination system tests students only on regurgitation and memorization. In fact, exams test students on all the critical skills that coursework promises, and on top of this, tests students on content. What we get, therefore, is the best of both worlds. And thus, it can be concluded that this house will sit for exams.

Onto my final point of contention..."

There are few things that get me more worked up than debating. And watching the Bridging Minds debates last night made me feel I still had that old fire going. I felt SO INSULTED!!! I have no idea how they pick people to represent Singapore on the Bridging Minds team, but clearly the quality of the debaters is not one of their chief considerations. The only people worth watching last night were ______ and ____! And even then they weren't particularly fantastic (this is a gross understatement, but I must remain politically correct on the public domain). Let's just say I'm glad certain people didn't make it to the National Team, 'cos if they did, Singapore debating is in for a hard time...

Oh my goodness, you can't begin to imagine the agony that was going through me. It's a shame, truly a shame, to see former rivals fall to such an extent. Well, I guess everyone's going off-form since the Nationals ended. Myself included. I've gone and become nothing more than target practice for people to suan me in class... How sad... But then again, I've always been easy to suan. So maybe I've still got it.

And boy have I got it. The above excerpt of a speech is what I would have given last night had I been on the proposition. I realised, as I wrote and spoke out those words, that I was giving release to a long suppressed urge to debate. It's been too long since I last debated. Owen, if you're reading this, we gotta get a meeting together as soon as the promos are over. I hear the Red Cross debates beckoning.

Ahhhh... Stress relief...

***
That was then. For now, thanks to everyone for tagging. I see my last few posts got people talking. Oh well, love is not for me right now. At the moment my heart rests in the Divine heart.

Oh, and Adrienne left last night for London. So goodbye! Whatever I'm supposed to say to you via email, I still don't know, but you can read my message. haha.

And Vicks, stop trying to increase your value in my eyes. It's good enough if I say you make life bearable. I'm sorry, but I don't exactly wake up each morning thinking, "oh my goodness it's a new day and vicki's gonna be around. yay!" That sounds positively lovesick, which I'm not, although liz sounds rather despo. Maybe the two of you should go hook up sometime soon. hahahaha...

This has been such a long post...